


If Only

by shinsuba



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 04:59:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10983855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinsuba/pseuds/shinsuba
Summary: Keith kissed every scar, and every open wound that was scattered on Lance's arm. He tried to kiss away the pain. If only he was sooner.This fic leaves the ending up for interpretation, sorry if that's annoying.





	1. Chapter 1

This is based on an head cannon I saw on tumblr, forgot to screenshot and can't find again. This idea has been stuck in my head forever though, so I'm going to do it anyways. This takes place in the castle, no change of setting or time or anything. Enjoy


	2. Kiss away the pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is ya'll. I'm sorry, I cried while writing this, and i apologize for any pain this causes ok.

It wasn't unusual for Lance and Keith to fight during training, but this time it seemed to get a bit extreme. Lance had been more giddy and excited than usual, and it ticked Keith off to no end. The wider Lance smiled, the more brutal the taunts directed at Keith got. Everyone else had abandoned the training deck a few minutes prior, not that Keith had noticed, as he was too busy trying not to punch Lance in the face.   
Honestly, Keith couldn't even remember what Lance had said to him to piss him off so much, but he was done with putting up with Lance. He snapped.   
"You're one to talk," He pushed Lance's chest with his fist, barley knocking him off balance, "You are completely useless! I bet your family are glad you haven't come home!"  
The more he said the louder he got, and the wider Lance's smile got.   
"Seriously, all you're good for is making terrible jokes and pissing people off!"   
Lance laughed. Not a fake laugh, but an honest laugh.  
That was the last straw. Keith spun on his heel, approached the door and threw a, "I hate you." Over his shoulder. 

 

He regretted it. Of course he did, he always regretted saying horrible things to Lance. He also knew that he went too far this time with bringing Lance's family into the argument, and he knew he was going to have to apologize. That fact kept him up that night. He had to figure out a way to apologize without making it awkward, which was not his strong suit, but he was going to try.   
Caught up in his thoughts, he almost missed the muffled choking noise coming from the next room over.   
Keith sat up and listened. There was a few more choking noises, so quiet that he wasn't sure if he was imagining them or not.   
As time went by, Keith stayed sitting in his bed, waiting for the noises to continue so he could investigate. The noises had stopped, replacing the castle with a graveyard like quietness, and leaving Keith with nothing but his thoughts. 

Lance. Keith's eye's immediately landed on him when the chipper paladin walked in for breakfast, unusually late with bloodstained eyes. He promised everyone it was just because he was up late working on pickup lines, and everyone seemed to believe him. Everyone, except for Keith, who kept his eyes glued on Lance for the rest of the day.  
He saw, when Pidge made a joke about Lance being stupid, that Lance's smile was a bit too wide. He saw that when Shiro criticized him during training how his eyes would go stone cold for a second. He saw when Coran and Allura were discussing why Keith would be a better leader of Voltron than Lance, how his laugh got a bit too loud.   
He saw Lance make a joke about how useless he was, then noticed the shining of unshed tears in his eyes. 

 

He stayed up that night. Not on the training deck, slashing the simulator while thinking about how stupidly beautiful Lance was. Nor did he lay awake in his bed, contemplating his life.   
No, he stayed sitting against the wall between his and Lance's rooms, dead quiet, waiting. And eventually, he heard it. A sobbing noise that almost sounded like whimpering. When he pressed his ear against the wall he heard Lance's voice. It took him a minute to understand the words Lance was whispering to himself, but when he did his heart dropped into his stomach. 

"Useless. Pathetic. Annoying. Stupid. Useless.." He was cut off with a sob, then continued almost chanting those words to himself.   
Keith was shocked. Shocked, and disgusted with himself. He made the decision to apologize then and there.   
So, he threw open Lance's door, his mouth open in a silent apology.   
Before he could even make a sound, his eyes was assaulted with the color that he had connected to himself with so long that it took him a minute to realize what was wrong.   
It was red. Lance's room was covered in red words. More specifically, words Keith had heard people call Lance, and things he himself had called him.   
In the center of the room was a morbid beauty. Lance, who looked paler than Keith had imagined to be possible, was wearing what used to be a white shirt. He was sprawled out on the floor, a smile Keith could only compare to the Cheshire Cat plastered on his face.  
And red. Oh god, the color Keith was so used to, the color he never thought would haunt him, almost killed him as he watched it ooze out of Lance's shaking body.

"I love you."  
Had he said those words, or had he only thought them?  
"Oh god Lance, no. Please no. I love you."  
And suddenly he was cradling Lance in his arms, assessing the wounds.   
The events that occurred shortly after were a blur to Keith. He cleaned Lance's wounds, which was slightly difficult as Lance had passed out. Then, he changed him into clean clothes.   
After he had the boy in bed, had made sure he was asleep, he really got to work. He scrubbed the walls, then replaced every terrible word that had been on the wall, with a better word. He couldn't find a pen, so he made due with carving the words into the wall with his knife.   
Beautiful. Amazing. Hilarious. Perfect. Smart. Intelligent. and so many more  
The last task he had was to kiss Lance. Not on the lips, as he would never do that without consent, but instead where he felt Lance needed it the most.  
Keith kissed every mark on Lance's arm. Every scar, open wound, freckle, everything. He just wanted to kiss away all of Lance's pain. He wanted to love away every terrible word he had ever said to this beautiful boy.   
All he could think the whole time was how if only he had be sooner. If he had befriended Lance in the Garrison, maybe this would have never happened. Maybe instead of fighting, he could told Lance everything he really thought. He could have told him how beautiful his eyes were, or how amazing everything he did was.  
Maybe then he'd be okay. But even if Lance wasn't okay, Keith would be there when we woke up. He'd apologize.   
He made a bed on the floor, consisting of his jacket rolled up for a pillow. And, with the help of Lance's steady breathing, he fell asleep quickly.

The next morning, however, when Hunk went into Lance's room to get him up, he was met with an odd sight and ear shattering silence.


End file.
